Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
