Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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