why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
