Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
dude. I can hear the air.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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