This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
