Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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