If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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