What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
