Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
