Are we in a gay sports bar?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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