how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
