So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize