She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
