If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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