I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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