and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
