fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
