I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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