I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize