why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize