I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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