His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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