i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
