you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize