What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
