Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
