totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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