I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize