Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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