I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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