im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize