Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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