we have pet lesbian snakes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
