Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize