Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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