I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
