If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
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