So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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