im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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