Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The uberlube is also flammable
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
