What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
