ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
tell me about the eggs
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
