there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
