do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
