So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
