your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
