I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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