I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
