he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
