Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
