PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
