And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
