Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
