Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
