what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
