Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
