true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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