my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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