Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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