"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
