We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it because I queefed?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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