wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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