I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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